Of Musings and Emotions
by Vriell the Black Knight
Summary: I'm back, sort of. Crappy title but basically Renamon muses over her life when Guilmon interrupts.


A brief flash of gold..then air. No sound was made, no leaves disturbed, not even one sakura blossom shivered as the silent kitsune made her nightly rounds patrolling her tamer's abode. _Too much open space_ she mused noting that the house would fail miserably to protect them incase another D-Reaper incident occurred. Far too much open space allowing one to be easily spotted among the lush greenery and tranquil koi pond. All that was necessary was a digimon with a good enough eye and enough courage to rush in and take down anyone in the house. _Of course_ she thought _they would have to go through me first_. Broad daylight was not Renamon's preferred office space, but it would have to do seeing as it was only around 6 o'clock in the afternoon and no digimon ever seemed to come around. Ever since they had arrived from the digital world, life had become somewhat monotonous. Of course our favorite vulpine indeed loved the fact that she could see her tamer and the other people she had learned to call friends, it was hard to get rid of old habits. Rika had trained her to become the perfect deleting machine, easily making her one of the most powerful digimon in this realm, but now she was stuck doing her rounds and erasing small rookies. A question she asked once was why she wanted to become so powerful originally. It was a somewhat immature dream which many lesser digimon sought after, yet why had she fallen into that reality so easily. It seems that digimon who roam to the human world trade their raw power for something much more valuable, emotions. The ability to form bonds was something very few digimon ever got the chance to do, and Renamon learned that this was indeed true power. The power did not come from any training the tamers did, or their digivolutions, but from the emotions they felt, the need to protect their tamer. This is the source of true power, however, it is indeed equally a strength as it is a weakness.

"If all I'm made to do is fight, then why are there so many other emotions flowing through me?" She didn't relatively care if anyone heard her call to the koi fish staring up at her. It was a question she so desperately wanted an answer to, but the only entity she could ask were the gentle fish as they swam, oblivious to all around them. These emotions confused her, making her do things she would never do. She got angry and smashed through walls. She suffered through sadness as tears cascaded down her golden fur, matting the areas around her eyes. She even glided through happiness when she discovered that her tamer had finally let go of the grudges she felt against her parents and decided it was time to move on. However, there was one emotion she has yet to experience, and this was the one many different humans explained was the most important one.

_Love_

"_Love is what makes the world go round,_" Takato had once told her while lounging lazily on the tree branch. His eyes wandered over to Rika for the slightest moment before he continued. "_it's what makes your friends special, the very force that allows a parent to unconditionally care for their child through thick and thin, and the very thing that drives people in their strongest endeavors."_

Renamon still did not understand the emotion very well, but the way he explained it, Love will be the most rewarding to experience. She had to blush at his final comment though,

"_Love is also the thing that brings two people together. Whenever you suddenly feel warm, or you get the butterflies in your stomach, you know you're in love."_

She could still not believe it. Would that mean that she was in love with fighting for so long. She had always felt, right before a battle, the butterflies and the spreading warmth as it cascaded down her coat to the very tip of her tail. No, she had been in love with battle. Now she only felt a sense of dread, sometimes even frustration whenever a digimon appeared which needed deleting.

"Hey Renamon, watcha doin'?" Renamon visibly stiffened. How long had he been there? Did he hear everything she said? Wait no, of course not. He couldn't hear what she thought but she always had this feeling that he could read her mind.

"I'm just thinking Guilmon."

"Oh okay. I'll leave then," but as he turned to walk away, Renamon felt the sudden urge to reach out. She couldn't explain why these feelings came, but when they did, it was uncontrollable.

"No Guilmon, you don't have to go. Why don't you just sit here with me for a little while." It wasn't often that he found her while she was deep in thought. In reality, she had been thinking about the crimson saurian almost every day since they came back from the digital world. Without even realizing it, Guilmon had already scaled the tree and was sitting with his legs dangling off to the side. His rough scales glimmered with the dying rays of light as though they were luminescent, and his young face looked up at the sky, investigating the strange colored clouds that were scattered across the sky. In an awkward moment of silence, she also looked up into the sky, searching for any possible answers. The blue sky was littered with orange, red, yellow, and purple clouds disfigured into non recognizable shapes. Just like she felt. Her heart could not decode what the last emotion could feel like. It was unrecognizable and disfigured in her mind, no basis to work from.

Looking to her companion she felt her heart suddenly beat quicker.

It had only started as light anticipation for a fight. Maybe the adrenaline rush of being with someone who would actually care if she died. But then it settled into a warm, comfortable feeling. Something not even she could comprehend but enjoy.

"So Renamon," his words hung in the air as he turned down to look at her. Something was in his eyes, the kitsune didn't know what, but something was there. His eyes were glued to her as he leaned in closer and closer

_And closer....and closer....and clo-_

The usually goofy red dinosaur had laid a gentle kiss on the beautiful vulpine's lips. Renamon didn't know how to explain the feeling. She couldn't explain the feeling! It was so sweet, like the most prestige of sugars, but also surprisingly soft, as if her lips had had brushed against satin. She wanted to decipher this feeling but the animal like pleasure she received from this held her firm. Unconsciously she raised her arms to the back of his head, and pulled him deeper into the kiss.

Very little could be said after this for not only were her lips completely locked but her mind, for the first time in her rather short life, no thoughts ran through her head. She was melting into him, her very existence being destroyed and becoming a part of him. _Is this what it feels like...Is this what love really feels like. _

She had been proud when she first mastered various emotions, but none could have prepared her for this. Love was undeniably the end all be all of emotions, sending her into pure bliss with only the simplest contact from the lips. Now as she parts from the crimson saurian, she feels so cold. As if part of her stayed with Guilmon when they parted. _I believe Henry once told me that you leave your heart with the one you love whenever you are away from them. Maybe that's what happened. I left my heart with Guilmon, and I have no intention of taking it back._

A/N: alright guys sorry I've been gone for a while, I really don't know what happened. Even as I was writing all those other fics, I was still working on the other stories and then I just stopped. I'm really sorry for those of you who wanted another chapter to keeper of precepts or trip to hawaii, but I will be working on them.


End file.
